Welcome to crazytown!

So my train arrived in Belgrade around midnight. I did the smart thing and took a taxi to my hostel...
...at least it had seemed smart...

I'm not sure if the cab driver wanted to give me a personalized tour of all of Belgrade or if he was completely lost. In speaking to me he kept switching between French, English and Serbian (as if I were some strange mutant tourist whose nationality changed every ten seconds!). He kept pointing at buildings that were probably significant, somehow...and murmuring my name appreciatively.

It was a looooong twenty minutes or so before we finally arrived at the address that the hostel website had said was only 500 metres from the train station (which turned out to be not quite true, anyway).

I wasn't sure my troubles were over once me and my besotted taxi driver said goodbye. There was no sign on the building and the place seemed deserted...

...but a friendly Dutch girl answered the door and welcomed me in. She also showed me where everything was and pointed me to my room; then told me she was actually a guest herself.

I was a little confused until she "introduced" the owner, an older man with a thick black beard who was bobbing to himself at the room's long table. He smiled fuzzily at me and waved. Then took another big swig of whatever he was drinking. And licked his chops and grinned. And took another drink. Etc.

The Dutch girl, her also-Dutch friend, a very laid-back French dude and I then proceeded to try to have a regular, normal conversation. Where are you from, where have you travelled, what do you do (what are we doing here??) -- punctuated with "Belgrade - very good!" or "Paris - very good!" from our friend the owner.

Actually mostly we raised eyebrows at each other and chortled at him, a tad uneasily.

Not the end of the night's adventures!

The plan was for Slobodan to pick me up outside my hostel and we'd go out for  some (nice, calm, non-alcoholic) beverages.

The problem with the plan was that my hostel was not where he thought it would be (as he went to the actual hostel near the train station). We called each other and decided on a new meeting point. At least, that's what we were working towards when my phone died. Out of minutes! With no possibility of getting more until the morning! And I was halfway to the station, or at least, what looked like the station...

At this moment, somewhere on the streets of Belgrade, it was quite tempting to completely freak out!

Which I almost did. Until I saw a group of normal-looking people walking my way...with cell phones. One of them was not freaked out enough by my near-freaked-out-ed-ness to allow me to use her phone to call the only person I knew in Serbia. She also helpfully explained to him where I was (which was, surprisingly, not actually near the station)!

Needless to say, I was very relieved when he finally picked me up! He was probably a little puzzled by my fervent "I am so glad to see you!" 

I thought I could finally start enjoying the evening...

...which I did, except for the small incident of a rather loud party in the restaurant/bar, the cops showing up, and the cops forcibly removing the bartender from the premises. By stuffing him into a police car.

Whether or not it was "all pretty normal", as Slobodan and his friends claimed, I was glad to go to bed that night.

"Oh, Serbia would be nice"

Remember my new Serbian friends? They invited me to come visit them in Belgrade, only a few hours away from Ljubljana...and I decided to take them up on the offer.

The train ticket was only 25 euros – what a deal!
Oh yeah, what a deal.

The Soviet-era train had the barest of amenities. In fact, it was perfect for a fun little game I’ve begun playing called Worst Train Bathroom Ever.

I thought the prize had been won way back on the Slovenian border...but that was the premature thinking of a rookie. There were much more serious contenders to come. 

It was a real tough call on the Ljubljana-Belgrade train, with all three bathrooms highly qualified.  In #1 the light didn’t work, the lid was down (always suspicious, although little did I know then that a lid was a bonus), and the whole little room reeked of poo.
#2 had a toilet seat that looked like it had been stepped on by about thirty people. That itself was enough.
#3 featured dead flies all over the sink and no toilet seat at all. Plus it looked like the flush mechanism had stopped working about one hundred stations ago. Oh, and the door didn’t lock.

Talk about choosing between a rock and a hard place and another rock! It was one of those times you sit down (on a nice, regular train seat) and tell yourself you didn't really need that thing you wanted anyway.

If I had only had to choose which disgusting bathroom to use, it would have been an easy day.

It wasn't.

My old buddy at Heathrow must have friends in eastern Europe, as I was once again closely inspected by border guards in the countries of former Yugoslavia.
At the Slovenian border the official actually took out his jeweller’s-eye magnifiying glass to scrutinize every inch of my passport. Then he radioed in and although I didn’t catch much, I did hear my name and nationality go over the airwaves.
It was a tense few minutes while he stood in the passageway with my passport, waiting for a response!
I did finally get the ok and my passport back.
After he left I breathed a big sigh of relief and the woman next to me said “Don’t worry, they’re always like that.”
I had read that border guards in eastern Slovenia are especially vigilant because it’s the eastern edge of the EU zone. However, I hadn't thought that would affect me!

There was another group of people on the train that regarded me strangely. A Sri Lankan family -- a mother, her teenage daughter and two sons around 10 and 6 -- boarded partway through the journey. When they saw me, they began staring at me like I was the most exotic thing they’d ever seen.
When I actually spoke to them they were overjoyed.
“English!” the girl crowed triumphantly, to both me and her mother.

We didn’t say much to each other but the boys enjoyed stealing glances and giggling when I looked back at them. When they got off I received an energetic “Hi! Hello! Hi!!” and a wave from the girl.

****


I'm still deciding what the scariest part of the day was. Besides the intimidating border guards, there was also a drunken hostel owner and getting lost in Belgrade in the middle of the night.

My night in prison

I've got you worried, do I?
(Then again, it would be like me to try out a European jail, just for the experience.)

Well, I got as close as I could. There's a famous hostel in Ljubljana, "Celica" ('cell') which was a 19th-century military prison. A night's stay in a former convict's quarters is only €25!

Each cell has been uniquely designed by a local or international artist. I think I got the one who wanted to stay as true to the original as possible (minus the fan).
(You can see a 360-degree view of all 20 cells here.)



The hallway outside my cell.

The hostel itself is in a pretty...alternative neighbourhood.

It was definitely an interesting place to stay!

Skocjanske jame (the Skocjan caves)

The last day trip in Slovenia was down south, to some incredible karst caves with a barely-pronounceable name.



This is the train I took to get there!



Here's the view from the top.



A small "slap" - Slovenian for "waterfall".

Unfortunately no photos were allowed inside the caves, but there's a great picture gallery on the official website. There were some really beautiful places inside.


I contented myself with photographing the exterior.  

 

Vintgar Gorge

This was a morning's trip from Bled. The gorge is part of Slovenia's huge national park, Triglavski.

And here is what you are NOT allowed to do in the park:





So put away those butterfly-catching nets and pails of sudsy water!




It was unquestionably a beautiful place...exactly like home. I felt like I was back in BC.

Bled

Next up:

Much more beautiful than the unfortunate name suggests.

(and this formatting -- does anyone know how to make Blogger do what you want it to??)

One of the most famous areas outside Ljubljana is the Lake Bled district, designed by some god of tourism, according to Lonely Planet. Once I got there, I had to agree. It was, as Ben Stiller described himself and the other male models in the movie Zoolander: “ridiculously good-looking”.

 

With a special festival of its own!

I spent a really nice afternoon biking around the lake and admiring the scenery.

Of course I went swimming too. In this perfect place the water, of course, was perfect.

Highlight of the day: hearing this band from across the lake...and eventually finding them.

Bridges and philosophers

Slovenia is every bit as good as those pictures I saw at the library. (Whew!)

Ljubljana, the capital, is a cute little European town (population under 300,000) with just a few major tourist attractions. It’s perfect for spending a few lazy days walking along the river and relaxing in cafes.

That's what most people do when on holiday; I, on the other hand, try to pack as much as possible into each day.

But I'm happy to say that I'm getting better at relaxing. Turns out you have to learn how to do that! 

One thing I do always make time for, though, is sampling new foods.

This actually did make me happy!

It's a big (empty) roll of bread, rolled in sugar and covered with roasted nuts. What more do you want from your food??

Took a really interesting walking tour. This is our guide, Ksenija. The woman behind us, with the tattoo on her arm, is a fire-performer from Israel. She invited us all to her free show in the square that night.
Unfortunately I didn't get the really good stuff on video, but here's a taste.

Ksenija showed us some great sights around town.

 St. Nicholas Church with an interesting door:

(that's Pope John Paul II at the top - he visited Slovenia recently)

more of the inviting canal

Cobblers' Bridge

 This place is all about natural beauty. Even the view from my hostel window was great!

The people at the hostel were great, too. I met a couple of interesting women my age from Denmark and we explored Ljubljana by night. One of the girls, who had recently gotten her first tattoo and was enjoying a smoke with her beer, told me she was studying to become a Lutheran priest.
"I know, I don't really look the type," she said, without seeming too worried about it.

Religion was also a topic with the three friendly Serbian guys I met at the hostel. We talked for a long time Sunday afternoon during a thunderstorm.
Two had recently graduated in law but, if they could, would have been full-time philosophers. Nikola was also the captain of the Serbian national cricket team. Slobodan's command of English was inspiring ("I grew up on cable" was his explanation), and their quiet friend Bogdan didn't say too much, except at one point when he told his friends "you get inspired when you b.s. in English!"

It was that kind of conversation.

Nun of it (Nunavut?)

Next up: Ljubljana, Slovenia!

Train ride through Switzerland, Liechtenstein (yeah!) and Austria to Slovenia.

To answer your questions:

1) Slovenia is south of Austria and east of Italy.

2) The “j” is a “y” so it’s 'lyoob-lyana'.

3) Because I stumbled across a “Guide to Slovenia” book at the library (of course), looked at a few pictures, and thought “I’ve got to go there!”

I shared a train compartment with two German-speaking nuns (the hills are alive!) and a group of young, boisterous Swiss guys with a lot of beer and loud music. I wondered, when it comes right down to it, which group I have more in common with...

Just long enough

Hanging out with Urs and his family was great.

They have a wonderfully landscaped garden, perfect for relaxing in the hot Swiss sun. (Would you believe the temperature climbed to the mid-30s?)

Also beautiful: Vierwaldstättersee (Lake Luzern). I did the touristy thing and took a boat cruise.

Our dinky boat.

A nice boat we saw from our boat.

Switzerland was nice, but I have to admit it was all a bit rigid for me. Not to mention that it's staggeringly expensive...I almost fell over at the prices of things. Example: a half hour bus ride to the city and back: $20 CAD!! A simple lunch from a grocery store (sandwich, grapes, chips and a drink): $15!!! And apparently it's impossible to get a pizza for under $12!

So...keep on travelling. I need places a little wilder and freer -- and cheaper!