Over three hundred years and still oppressing...

The two and a half hour flight to London on Tuesday was uneventful but I can’t say the same for the arrival. I almost didn’t get into the country (not a joke).
I had assumed that UK border guards would be similar to Canadian ones: friendly, easygoing, not too concerned with one of their own. [Which I practically am, considering we have the same Queen!] This one was none of the above. He didn’t appreciate that I had no address for where I’d be staying, that I didn’t know where I was going after the UK, and that I didn’t know how long I’d be in Europe. (Perhaps all that jiggling atop a horse earlier in the day had dislodged some brain cells, as duh, maybe I should’ve been prepared with some better answers.)
At first I laughed to myself, thinking that any minute he’d break into a smile and say, "Gotcha! Good one, yeah? Welcome to the UK!" But the more detailed the questions got and the longer I stood there, I began to wonder if I should actually be worried.
After about 20 minutes of interrogation and extensive note-taking he stood up and left his desk. He came back with a big, black, ominous-looking stamp. Sternly he said, “Well, I’m not extremely impressed with what you have to say.......but I am going to allow you into the country, this time. You are on our watch list, however, and the next time you try to enter the UK, you better have much firmer plans.”
So I received an entry stamp in my passport, and also a big NOT ALLOWED TO WORK OR ASK FOR WELFARE stamp. And how about that: I’m important enough that the government is going to watch me! I wonder if I should’ve offered my blog address...

That experience combined with the task of schlepping a 1,000-pound suitcase halfway across London on the tube made for an unpleasant start to my stay in England. (“Could you have left the anvil at home, do you think?” I was asked.) But two things perked me up: an ice-cream bar vending machine (with a teeny-tiny freezer), and my English SERVAS hosts, Pam and Ian. [SERVAS is a world traveller organization that, once you join, you can either host visitors or stay with hosts basically anywhere in the world. It was founded after the Second World War to encourage understanding and friendship between nations.]
Pam lives exuberantly through not taking herself, or anyone else, too seriously. She is a cheerful, witty and loquacious 60-year-old counsellor. Complementing her well is her partner Ian, a socialist magician. Yes, you read that right. Whereas David Copperfield is content with little tricks like making the Statue of Liberty disappear, Ian Saville aims at the much more ambitious goal of making International Capitalism and exploitation disappear. True, he hasn't quite succeeded, but recent developments are encouraging. The act is funny, magical, thought-provoking and topical. It is a celebration of Socialism. (from his website)
Here’s a taste:

Needless to say, the three of us hit it off right away. Also because Pam has a clock with a different birdsong for every hour.
Pam had a Barney with Ian, which is a British expression that means to have an argument with someone...or in this case it means they had a son of the same name. Barney is a very active activist (-) and as such has been involved in clashes with the police on numerous occasions. When a friend asked Pam what his most recent courthouse appearance was about, Pam said she replied, “I don’t know; how am I supposed to know every time?”
Conversations with Pam, which I greatly enjoy, are like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, except you don’t get to choose. When a story starts off it could go in three different directions and you don’t know which way it’ll go or if you’ll ever be able to make it back to where you left off!

One of the best ways to get to know a new country, I feel, is to read the local newspapers. Scanning the pages of the London Evening Standard, I couldn’t help thinking that Britons are a bit odd! Here are some of the headlines I saw:
Londoners won’t go outdoors (more than 4 out of 10 people in Britain have never ridden a horse or swum in natural waters [0 out of 10 have done both at the same time])
London now has the fattest schoolchildren in Britain (1 in 9 children starting school in London is now obese)
Don’t call an ambulance if you are drunk, World Cup fans told
And my absolute favourite:
“I like mentally unwell people because they make me laugh – I think how did that person get to that point?” – Helena Bonham-Carter on choosing her characters
Also, did you know that there’s such a thing as the British Sandwich Association? And that they give out annual awards? (“I’d like to thank my mustard for always being there...”) There was a full-page ad devoted to Marks and Spencer’s two sandwich awards this year, one for Best Sandwich Retailer and Best New Sandwich (in the “mini roll” category). ???